This was the fifth album to be released by The Wurzels following Adge Cutler's death in 1974. It was released in November 1978 as a 12" vinyl stereo LP on the EMI NOTES record label with catalogue number NTS160. The album was simultaneously released on cassette tape. Song Lyrics
At the time of the recording of this album The Wurzels were Tommy Banner (piano, organ, accordion, vocals), Tony Baylis (bass, bass guitar, sousaphone and vocals) and Pete Budd (banjo, guitar and vocals). Additional musicians for this recording were Rod Owen & Ed Welch (keyboards), Dougie White (drums).
I'll Never Get A Scrumpy Here was The Wurzels' fifth and last true album for EMI - after this only compilations were issued. The 'live' sequences were recorded at Ashton Court Country Club near Bristol on the evenings of September 1st and 2nd 1978 in front of an invited audience consisting of members of the Wurzels' Fan Club. The 'live' tracks on the album were interspersed with studio recordings recorded at EMI Abbey Road in sessions that started on January 16th 1978.The album includes songs by each of the individual band members - notably Pete Budd's hymn of praise to Mevagissey - as well as a couple of typical Wurzel numbers - Funky Farmyard and the parody The Tractor Song. It also featured Tommy Banner's instrumental tour de force Somerset Jigolo which remained a popular part of the band's repertoire for many years. Side 2 track 6 is a different recording (and a subtly different title) to the later single version.
In common with all The Wurzels' EMI album releases from 1975 to 1980 this album remained 'on catalogue' for many years. Unlike the Adge Cutler / Wurzel albums from 1967 onwards The Wurzel albums have few variations in labels and sleeves. By 1975 all album sleeves were of the wrap-around type and most were laminated. Tax codes on vinyl records had been discarded and the vinyl weights - which were now generally the same on all records - were on the light side when compared to the high-quality heavy vinyl of the 1960s. Matrix, Mother and Stamper codes were still used on the vinyl and the information centred around Adge's 1960's recordings that can be found on the Main Menu under 'Vinyl Collecting Guides' remains relevant with minor changes between different record labels. The inner sleeves changed little over the period. Unlike the 1960s, which saw inner sleeves bearing advertising information, the 1970's to 80's were white company sleeves with minor variations. The 'Dating Record Sleeves' guide (in the Main Menu) indicates which inner sleeves would be expected to be found between 1974 and 1983 (types H,J,K, AND L).
Stereo pressing of NTS160 on the EMI Notes label. A Side: Matrix NTS 160 A-2 HTM 1 G B Side: Matrix NTS160 B-1 HTM 2 H (HTM - Harry Moss, EMI's most respected mastering engineer)
The album sleeve, which was of the wrap around style and laminated, As well as a detailed tracklisting and album credits there is an interesting description of the 'live' recording session that led to this album.Collectors might like to look out for unlaminated copies of this album sleeve. It would appear that EMI started phasing out laminated covers from around 1978 and by 1980 had replaced them with 'glossy effect' sleeves (a trend started by RCA records).[Thanks to Peter May for noticing this. Only two such copies have been found so far but there must be many more out there]
A nice collector's item - a copy autographed by all three band members - Tommy Banner, Pete Budd and Tony Baylis. A Side: Matrix NTS160 A-1 HTM 1 G B Side: Matrix NTS160 B-1 1 H
An unusual collector's item - an EMI Demonstration copy of this album. Note the gold stamp at bottom left of the image. A Side: Matrix NTS160 A-1 HTM 1 G B Side: Matrix NTS160 B-1 1 H This example is particularly unique in that it came from the collection of Bob Barratt the record's producer.
Side 1, Track 1 - Funky Farmyard [Spoken] Right lads are you ready? After four One, two, three Here's a little song all about the rocking rhubarb It's called the Funky Farmyard, ha ha (Chorus) Every night by the pale moonlight The farmyard's full of soul All they pigs and chickens Like to do the rock and roll And they go ooh, arr, ooh arr ay Ooh arr ooh arr ooh arr ay Everybody's having fun, down by the chicken run And they go ooh, arr, ooh arr ay Ooh arr ooh arr ooh arr ay Everybody's having fun, down by the chicken run Hey diddle diddle the cat and the fiddle The cow jumped over the moon The little dog laughed to see such fun And the dish ran away with the spoon Three blind mice, dressed up nice Danced with the Farmer's wife Popping and a-hopping all night without stopping Having the time of their lives (Repeat Chorus) [Spoken] Come on Father Work some steam onto it my babby Ha ha ha Hey, my handsome Come on there my babby (Repeat Chorus) That's what thee's call rock and roll you Side 1, Track 2 - The Tractor Song Oooh oooh oooh, oooh oooh oooh. Arr Oooh oooh oooh, oooh oooh oooh. Arr Riding along on my tractor honey, when I notice you Riding yer bike in a hurry honey, down the avenue You looked so pretty, as you were riding along You looked so pretty, as you were singing this song Oooh oooh oooh, oooh oooh oooh. Arr Oooh oooh oooh, oooh oooh oooh. Arr Well I put on the speed and I tried catching up You were going harder too Pedalling along like a hurricane honey Spinning out of view You looked so pretty, as you were riding along You looked so pretty, as you were singing this song Sing this song (Chorus) Round round wheels going round round round Down up pistons, down up down Gotta get across to the Rose and Crown Before the sun goes down Hey hey hey Oooh oooh oooh, oooh oooh oooh. Arr [Spoken over] Hello my little flower, tha's goin' my way? Ha ha ha ha Oooh oooh oooh, oooh oooh oooh. Arr Now we're driving along on my tractor honey A tractor built for two Sitting up here in the seat beside me Now we got a better view You looked so pretty, as we were riding along You looked so pretty, you keep singing this song Sing this song (Repeat Chorus) Oooh oooh oooh, oooh oooh oooh. Arr [Spoken over] 'Ere Mabel, you wanna see I drive with one hand? Ha ha ha Oooh oooh oooh, oooh oooh oooh. Arr Side 1, Track 3 - Down Our Street It's so clear to me, how it used to be Down the little cobbled street where I was born Tiny houses, snug and warm, lots and lots of chimney pots Smoked away from dusk to dawn Just across the way, where I used to play You could hear the constant bouncing of a ball Where Terry chalked on Riley's wall Then he cried when Mr Riley came outside and took his chalk Whenever I walk Down the street where I was born my mind is filled with tender memories Of the people and the good times that we knew As a little boy I'd run towards the sweet shop on the corner Clutching three pence for a lollipop or two And when it rained, the rooves would shine And I'd pretend twas liquorice to eat What with such imagination, there was so much fascination Down our street But old Grandma Lees (Old Grandma Lees) With her troubled knees (Her troubled knees) Used to smile and say the sweets would make me fat She would often stop and chat, while Thomas Jones was throwing stones At Mrs Smith's beloved cat, mm mm In the evening glow (In the evening glow) Me and George would go (George would go) Stand beneath the window of the Junction Inn Just to hear Aunt Alice sing, and sniff the beery air that Floated out the windows from within But everything Down the street where I was born was never built to last forever But the memory of it all will linger on Now the smoky stone has crumbled, and the chimney pots have tumbled And the poky little alleyways are gone The hopes and fears, the laughs and tears And everything that made a life complete Still echo round the corner, in the alleyways and squares Whisper in the eaves to me, when I walk down what used to be Our Street La la la la la la, la la la la la la La la la la la la, la la la la la la [Fade out] Side 1, Track 4 - I'll Never Get A Scrumpy Here Now old Jolly Jack was a hard-working chap And he longed for a chance to be free Stuck a pin in the map as it laid on his lap And he stuck it into gay Paree It were quite by chance that he'd heard of France Cos he'd never been away before He was straight off the boat with his ten-bob note When his heart fell through the floor (Chorus) Oh, I'll never get a scrumpy here No, I'll never get a nice mild beer Give me England every time my dear Cos you never get surprises Living in Devizes However hard I bloomin’ try Seems I'll never get a hot meat pie In old Somerset's where I'll lie When I die, hi, hi, hi, hi Well he made his way in complete dismay Where the lights were shining bright And standing there was a girl so fair And she asked him for a light Put his hand in his pocket and it felt like a rocket It was growing in his hand like a flame So, he pulled it out, and she gave a shout Et vous chicken? No, I'm game (Repeat Chorus) When I die, hi, hi (Repeat Chorus) When I die, hi, hi (Repeat Chorus) [Fade out] Side 1, Track 5 - Mevagissey Mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm Mm mm mm mm mm mm mm The lights of, Mevagissey, is the sight I long to see To walk the old stone harbour, smell the salt air, and the sea Those fishing boats, are safely moored, the seagulls soar above In that quaint old Cornish village, Mevagissey you're my love (Chorus) Some folks like big cities, with their hustle, and bright lights The nightclubs, and the restaurants, they say are, wondrous sights Although I'm not, a Cornish lad, though I live down, in the West You can keep your bright light cities, Mevagissey you're the best Mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm Mm mm mm mm mm mm mm The motorways, and the factories, their chimneys reach the sky People rushing, everywhere, never knowing why So, I'm glad I've had, this chance in life, to take the time and see You can keep your bright light cities, Mevagissey, you're for me So, if you yearn, to leave it all, and I'm sure you might some day Remember what I tell you, as you pass along your way And you'll be glad, that you're alive, these words I say are true Forget those bright light cities, Mevagissey's just for you (Repeat Chorus) You can keep your bright light cities, Mevagissey you're the best Side 1, Track 6 - Somerset Jigalo [Instrumental] Lyrics Kindly transcribed by M.Pelling & E.Bryant, Verified by Professor Wurzel
Side 2, Track 1 - Our Village Band Every Sunday folks arrive from miles around And cram into the back room of The Crown There's always room to stand, pint of beer at hand And listen to the most exciting sound (Chorus) Shouting, singing, everybody's swinging When they hear our village band Playing, romping, you should hear 'em stomping Ours is the best band in the land In the band you'll find the most unusual crowd Gathered there from every walk of life The grocer plays the spoons, the postman tries and croons With back-up vocals by the vicar's wife! (La de da de de) The baker loves to play a gurt big roll on the drum He says it is symbolic of his trade The butcher makes his point, by trying to smash the joint Through marching up and down like on parade (Repeat Chorus) Lady from the library plays the clarinet She tells us that she's always loved to reed The milkmaid's played the horn, since the day that she was born The vet on organ likes to take the lead The vicar plays the trumpet just like Gabriel The ice-cream man he plays the cornet too They're not inclined to quibble, who plays the old bass fiddle As long as he can really swing the blues (Repeat Chorus) Last Summertime we entered for the Albert Hall Along with all those very famous bands Our publican on flute, was plastered as a newt And disappointed all our many fans Even though the blacksmith tried to save the day And tear the flute right out his drunken grip He completed his disgrace, by falling on his face And then got up and did a total strip (Repeat Chorus) [Shout] Everybody (Repeat Chorus) Side 2, Track 2 - Two Milk Churns (Chorus) Oh, she is the queen of the rustic range Smell of manure and a dose of the mange With a pot or a pint, pitchfork in her hand She's the darling daughter of the land [Spoken] Ah she's a fine agricultural little girl, got muscles behind her kneecaps Now Nellie Malone is a milking maid She's a head like a turnip and a neck like a spade Her figure's grim, you soon will find Two large milk churns and an acre behind. Ha ha ha aww (Repeat Chorus) [Spoken] Got lovely red hair all down her back, pity she aint got none on her head Now each time she bends at the milking stool T'is just like the rising of the moon If Nellie and the cow are standing by a ditch It's hard to decide now which is which (Repeat Chorus) [Spoken] Went for a ride on a camel the hump ended up underneath her Now she lets her hair hang long and loose And she pinks up her face with beetroot juice Now the value of her acres is hard to gauge Her two milk churns is all the rage (Repeat Chorus) [Spoken] When she takes a shower, takes the water an hour to reach her feet Now she tends to her cows in the morning light And she tends to the fellas most every night In the middle of lunchtime every day It's a kiss and a cuddle and then youm ok (Repeat Chorus) [Spoken] Hey Nellie, with legs like that youm fully equipped to kick-start the combine harvester Side 2, Track 3 - Ferry To Glastonbury (Chorus) There aint no ferry to Glastonbury That don't bother me Though I'm tired and weary there's a little dearie Waiting there for me Working all day in the meadow Started with the morning dew The day's been hot, and my old dog Spot He's feeling weary too (Repeat Chorus) Bees in the hedgerow are buzzing All of the world is in bloom Sleepy cows just sit and drowse Taking in the day's perfume [Instrumental] Golden haze on the river Dust and heat all the way And I can but think, of that long cool drink Before I hit the hay (Repeat Chorus) Afternoon shadows grow longer Trees shade the evening sun And I'm content, a day well spent Another job well done (Repeat Chorus) There aint no ferry to Glastonbury That don't bother me That don't bother me Side 2, Track 4 - I Got Me Beady Little Eye On Thee I'm a wise little owl, and I lives in a tree And there's nowt goes by, that I don't see Cos, I got me beady little eye on thee (Chorus) I got, me beady little eye on thee I'm up here in the branches of a tall oak tree There's nothing passes by, that plainly I don't see Cos, I got me beady little eye on thee Now Ernie he's our milkman and he comes around at seven He's a proper Casanova, thinks that he was sent from heaven Those unsuspecting husbands when they're off to work can't see Old Ernie's after more than just his morning cup of tea [Spoken] Ho ho, 'ee aint 'alf as thick as 'is cream (Repeat Chorus) Now Mr Smith he caught the baker hiding in the loo He said your wife's so very kind, I didn't know what to do Just one more kindness could I ask, and the baker went quite red Could you fetch my shoes and socks, I left them by your bed [Spoken] I think he dropped a bit of a bloomer there (Repeat Chorus) Young Mrs Jones at number three sings with the chapel choir She sings a deep contralto cos her voice won't go no higher Last week the plumber made a call, as he was passing by Now all the neighbours are amazed cos her voice it sounds so high [Spoken] Ha ha, many a good tune's been played on an old ballcock (Repeat Chorus) I got me, I got me beady little eye on thee I got, me beady little eye on thee [Spoken] Confusion he said, if in doubt, keep yer socks on Oh? Confusion! You mean Confucius Who's 'ee then? Side 2, Track 5 - Wish I Stayed A Bachelor I met a lovely city lass, from a posh part she did come T'is nigh on two years since we wed, should've listened to me Mum Her problem is she cannot cook, and though she tries her best Her ice-cream's hot, her hot-pot's cold, I'll tell you 'bout the rest (Chorus) I wish I'd stayed a bachelor, exactly like my Dad When thinking of the stories, of the good time that he had I guess she must have laced my beer, and the drink went to my head Cos, I proposed and drank the toast and now we're wed When I was half asleep one morn, I heard her sweet voice whisp There's soft boiled eggs for breakfast but I hope you like ‘em crisp I asked her why my eggs were always scrambled boiled or fried She said I'm scared to poach them, in case I'm put inside (Repeat Chorus) She was gone for three whole days, out shopping if you please Up North to get some Yorkshire puds, down Cheddar for some cheese I'm only pleased I didn't want French beans or Brussels sprouts She'd have gone and got a passport, of that there is no doubt (Repeat Chorus) I said let's have a late-night snack, and a cup of tea She said I would've made you toast, but I've lost the recipe Now if we lived in Canada, I'd never ask for mousse She'd try and grab it by the horns, and bring it in the hoose I wish I'd stayed a bachelor, exactly like my Dad When thinking of the stories, of the good time that he had I guess she must have laced my beer, and the drink went to my head Sure enough, I've had enough, wish I were dead Side 2, Track 6 - Drunk On A Saturday Night Come on now let's have some fun, the evening's just begun Saturday's the night that's right so come on into town Now there's a bar where we all meet, to drink the night away We'll keep on spending our money, till someone has to say, hey, hey, hey (Chorus) Well you don't get drunk on a Saturday night when your Mother's at the movies And you know she'll blame it on your dad, for spending all his wages Well you don't get drunk on a Saturday night when your Mother's at the movies And you know she'll blame it on your Dad, for spending all his wages The evening passes right away, we've had a real good time Drinking wine and feeling good, we haven't got a dime Cos in the bar where we all meet, to drink the night away We'll keep on spending our money, till someone has to say, hey, hey, hey (Repeat Chorus) Well you don't get drunk on a Saturday night when your Mother's at the movies And you know she'll blame it on your Dad, for spending all his wages Well you don't get drunk Well you don't get drunk Well you don't get drunk on a Saturday night