This was the fourth album to be released by The Wurzels following Adge Cutler's death in 1974. It was released at the end of October 1977 as a 12" vinyl stereo LP on the EMI NOTES record label with catalogue number NTS138. The album was simultaneously released on cassette tape. Song Lyrics
At the time of the recording of this album The Wurzels consisted of Tommy Banner (piano, organ, accordion, vocals), Tony Baylis (bass, bass guitar, sousaphone and vocals) and Pete Budd (banjo, guitar and vocals).
This album of studio recordings issued in late 1977 contains some interesting tracks including The Wurzels' last big hit single Farmer Bill's Cowman and Tommy Banner's autobiographical Haggis Farewell. The title track was the Original Theme from the Columbia film Confessions from a Holiday Camp. The film (which was part of a series of 'Confessions' films all starring Robin Askwith) was so poorly rated that the series was ended. The album had five tracks written by The Wurzels themselves and also an interesting remake of Adge Cutler's Mixer Man's Lament.
In common with all The Wurzels' EMI album releases from 1975 to 1980 this album remained 'on catalogue' for many years. Unlike the Adge Cutler / Wurzel albums from 1967 onwards The Wurzel albums have few variations in labels and sleeves. By 1975 all album sleeves were of the wrap-around type and most were laminated. Tax codes on vinyl records had been discarded and the vinyl weights - which were now generally the same on all records - were on the light side when compared to the high-quality heavy vinyl of the 1960s. Matrix, Mother and Stamper codes were still used on the vinyl and the information centred around Adge's 1960's recordings that can be found on the Main Menu under 'Vinyl Collecting Guides' remains relevant with minor changes between different record labels. The inner sleeves changed little over the period. Unlike the 1960s, which saw inner sleeves bearing advertising information, the 1970's to 80's were white company sleeves with minor variations. The 'Dating Record Sleeves' guide (in the Main Menu) indicates which inner sleeves would be expected to be found between 1974 and 1983 (types H,J,K, AND L).
Stereo pressing of NTS138 on the EMI Notes label. A Side: Matrix NTS 138 A-1 NICK W 1 R B Side: Matrix NTS 138 B-1 2 O (Nick W the EMI mastering engineer)
The album sleeve, of the wrap around style and fully laminated, had rather sparse information about the LP - the track listing and credits is only added to with information on the recording location and engineers: Recording Engineers: David B. Charles (Rockfield), David Hamilton Smith (Olympic) and Dick Plant (The Music Centre) Mastered at EMI's Abbey Road Studios. Producer: Bob Barrett The band line up is not mentioned for some reason although the artwork shows the three members in cartoon form drawn by David Anstey.
An unusual collector's item - a factory sample of this album. Factory samples were taken from the production lines for a quality check A Side: Matrix NTS 138 A-1 NICK W 1 R B Side: Matrix NTS 138 B-1 2 O This example is particularly unique in that it came from the collection of Bob Barratt the record's producer.
An interesting collector's item - an autographed album sleeve, signed by Tommy Banner, Pete Budd and Tony Baylis. A Side: Matrix NTS 138 A-1 NICK W 1 R B Side: Matrix NTS 138 B-1 2 O
This is a unique collector's item - a 12" double-sided white label record. This is a pre-production test-print of the album. The vinyl itself is the same as the one that went into production. The reverse of the disc also has a white label, again with no information on it. A Side: Matrix NTS 138 A-1 NICKW 1 G B Side: Matrix NTS 138 B-1 1 G
Side 1, Track 1 - Give Me England Last year we took the chance and went to Paree France But all they can-canning girls led us quite a dance They Folies Bergeres aint all they seem to be Cos when a girls says oh no, she means ooh arr oui oui (Chorus) So, give me England every time my dear Give me England any time of year Come on everybody raise a cheer, far and near For the birds and the booze now that Summer's here And when the zouk is played, a Grecian serenade We shed a tear in our beer for the price we paid This aint no place to be complained old Timmy Lee Aint got no bingo, the lingo's all Greek to me (Repeat Chorus) I'll never go again across to sunny Spain To serenade a senorita 'neath her windowpane What a palaver, on the Costa Brava I didn't know the matador was her Father (Repeat Chorus) In nineteen-seventy we went to Italy To sample all the delights down in Napoli. Ha ha ha ha The senorinas there could not be keener there But I've a scar from her Pa to prove I been to there So, give me England every time my dear Give me England any time of year Come on everybody raise a cheer [Shout] hooray, far and near For the birds and the booze now that, Summer's here So, give me England every time my dear Give me England any time of year Come on everybody raise a cheer [Shout] hooray, far and near For the birds and the booze now that, Summer's here Side 1, Track 2 - Willie Friese-Greene Years ago when magic lanterns were the latest craze A young photographer was trying hard to prove That pictures on the wall was just the start One of these days he said, “I'll find a way to make these blighters move” And after years and years of working halfway through the night He fetched a copper off the street at half past ten Saying come and see what I've just done, he then put out the light And the movie show was born right there and then Three cheers for Willie, three cheers for Willie Friese-Greene Three cheers for Willie, the inventor of the silver screen For without old Willie's ‘andles and his sprockets and his cogs There'd be none of they blue films of they birds without their tops There'd be no blinking cinemas and lots of synagogues If it hadn't have been for Willie Friese-Greene Hooray for Willie! Hooray for Willie Friese-Greene Hooray for Willie, cos if Willie hadn't been so blinking keen Old Errol Flynn'd never made enough to buy his yacht And all they little starlets will be wondering if or not If they'd ever get the chance to find out what a lot he'd got If it hadn't have been for Willie Friese-Greene Thank God for Willie, thank God for Willie Friese-Greene Thank God for Willie, without him such a lot'd never been Oh Jimmy Stewart would have stammered his speech And big John Wayne wouldn't have had his time on the beach Cor blimey Cary Grant would still be Archie Leach If it hadn't have been for Willie Friese-Greene Right throughout the ages blokes who have invented flair Have tried to flog their gadgets far and wide But nothing that's been thought of can in any way compare With the little cine cameras you can buy Three cheers for Willie, three cheers for Willie Friese-Greene For without Willie, the office Christmas party wouldn't have been seen No close up of the manager, wishing he was dead The junior trying to get the new blonde typist into bed The Sales Director with the postgirl's knickers on his head If it hadn't have been for Willie Friese-Greene There'd be no back row, if it hadn't have been for Willie Friese-Greene Side 1, Track 3 - Sally-Army Teacher Fresh young girl with a lily-white skin Standing there at the door she invited me in Saturday night at the Sally Army dance Nothing else to do, thought I might take a chance She turned away and I took another glance And I thought it would be a sin to miss it (Chorus) And it's all right, Sally lady Sally Army teacher with your eyes so bright And it's all right, Sally lady Sally lady teach me, tonight Tell me, what can I do? She taught me more than I ever knew And it's all right, Sally lady Sally lady teach me, tonight Sunday morning she's back on parade Singing songs of praise with her family brigade Takes the hand of each child who wants to come Let's them play on her big bass drum Thinking over the things she has done And she knows she’s lost her way, ole (Repeat Chorus) Tell me, what can I do? She taught me more than I ever knew And it's all right, Sally lady Sally Army teacher preach me wrong from right And it's all right, Sally lady Sally lady teach me, tonight, right Sally lady, Sally Army teacher with your eyes so bright And it's all right, Sally lady Sally lady teach me, tonight, bright Sally lady, Sally Army teacher with your eyes so bright And it's all right, Sally lady Sally lady teach me, tonight, right Sally lady, Sally Army teacher with your eyes so bright [Fade out] Side 1, Track 4 - Tremble On I've made a lot of singles, and I've sung a bunch of jingles from my heart I knew nothing much was happening, so I figured out I'd make a brand-new start Cos maybe Waylon Jennings, Johnny Cash and Dolly Parton had no choice But if you want a country record friend, it helps to have a tremble in your voice All right I'm trembling, my agent thinks success is guaranteed If he can tremble, a man is sure of everything he needs I got one manager, two publishers, three children and a wife who worships Hank Ain’t that enough to keep me trembling, so I tremble all the way to the bank (Chorus) Tremble on, tremble on Tremble high, tremble low All the world loves a song Sung by a trembling tremolo I changed my name to money, cos it seems to me as countrified as cash I've hit the weed, I've swallowed speed, I've started drinking any kind of trash All right I'm looking older, but I think no southern soldier has a choice And now I find that I'm developing a natural vibrato in my voice That's why I'm trembling, my agent thinks success is guaranteed If he can tremble, a man is sure of everything he needs I got one manager, two publishers, three children and a wife who worships Hank Ain’t that enough to keep me trembling, so I tremble all the way to the bank (Repeat Chorus) [Instrumental] Side 1, Track 5 - The Mixer Man's Lament Now I was on the chippings boys, Paddy on the sand Gribble on the mixer, we made a happy band And we'd swing our shiny shovels boys, swing them to and fro Work all night with all our might, to make the mixer go (Chorus) Shovel of cement, shovel of sand, let the water flow Shovel and sling the chippings in, to make the mixer go Our Ganger's name was old Les Stroud, when that fella's dead We'll bury him in ferrocrete with a toolbox at his head Cement bag for a pillow, down in the earth so brown Twenty brawny navvies to hold the blighter down (Repeat Chorus) We got the concrete pouring boys, right before our eyes Till it seem that chimley stack, it soon block out the skies But when Thursday comes around, boys what did we get Only five bob bonus for a bucket full of sweat (Repeat Chorus) Come on lads young Paddy said, the job is down the pan Throw your shovels in the air and jack up like a man So, we threw our shovels in the air, jacked up with a cheer Spent nigh all our last week’s wage on a belly full of beer (Repeat Chorus) The moral of this story boys, must be understood Don't go near a mixer where the bonus is no good For heaven they say is very nice, with angels at each hand Hell is full of Paddy gangers, mixed with stone and sand (Repeat Chorus x 2) Side 1, Track 6 - Speedy Gonzales [Spoken] It were a moonlit night in old Keynsham, and as I strolled along by the banks of the old River Chew, suddenly, I heard the plaintive cry of a young Somerset girl La la laaaa, La la la la la la la laaaa, La la la la la la la laaaa, la la la la la la la laaaa Thee's better come home Speedy Gonzales The farm is getting overgrown You know we need thee on the combine Cos we can't drive'n on our own Come on home to the farmhouse And slap some paint on the wall The roof is leaking like a strainer We need some lino in the hall Speedy Gonzales (Speedy Gonzales) Why don't 'ee come home (Speedy Gonzales) Speedy Gonzales (Speedy Gonzales) Oh don't please leave I all alone [Spoken] Rosie, gotta go down to the pigsty and get some perfume for Mother Laaaa, La la la la la la laaaa, La la la la la la la laaaa, La la la la la la la laaaa You know your horse has got the measles And we'em running out of scrump The pigs have had another litter We got no water in the pump The hens have given up a-laying They sheep ain’t growing any wool The larder's looking very empty And the dung heap's very full, hm Speedy Gonzales (Speedy Gonzales) Why don't 'ee come home (Speedy Gonzales) Speedy Gonzales (Speedy Gonzales) Oh don't please leave I all alone [Spoken] Hey Rosie Come quick, down the pub they're giving green stamps with scrumpy Laaaa, La la la la la la la laaaa, La la la la la la la laaaa, La la la la la la la laaaa. (Repeat x 1) Arriva arriva arriva [Spoken] Enrico come back Lyrics Kindly transcribed by M.Pelling & E.Bryant, Verified by Professor Wurzel
Side 2, Track 1 - Farmer Jonesies' Travellin' Disco Show When the milking's over for the day-old Farmer Jones do sing For he be all intent to make the zider country swing His gaiters hat and smock may be discarded don't 'ee see Tonight's the night the disco booked for where the action be (Chorus) We can plough we can sow, we can reap we can mow But there's someone extra special where the cider apples grow For the greatest sound around the West and folks I'll 'ave 'ee know Is the one and only Farmer Jonesies’ travellin' disco show All dressed up to kill with kinky velvet trousers frills an' all Jonesie be the prettiest sight to grace the Farmer's Ball Them flashing lights are all a-go, a cider-delic trance But even poor old Rover can't resist the urge to dance (Repeat Chorus) On and on all through the night with not a pause to get yer breath T'was just as if the aims in hand to dance themselves to death Old dowagers and duchesses all swayed with practised ease But Millicent the milkmaid she's the biggest sort of tease (Repeat Chorus) When at last the dawn do break old Jonesy packs away his gear And bids farewell as little Nell complains of feeling queer So once again it's milking time and time for mucking out But Jonesy's got the dairy wired to give 'em twist and shout (Repeat Chorus x 2) Side 2, Track 2 - Sousaphone Sam (Chorus) He's Sousaphone Sam, yes he's Sousaphone Sam And he wants to be one of the band He's Sousaphone Sam, yes he's Sousaphone Sam And he wants to be one of the band He's only satisfied, when he's got something to play And you must realise, it's happening to him today He'll make the sacrifice, do anything that you say If you will let him play in the band (Repeat Chorus) His one ambition always was to play, Trafalgar Square And by tradition now on Christmas Day, he'll be there After all this time, now the pleasure's mine To say that Sam can sign, on as one of the, on as one of the band [Instrumental] He's Sousaphone Sam, yes he's Sousaphone Sam And we're glad that he's one of the band He's Sousaphone Sam, yes he's Sousaphone Sam And we're glad that he's one of the band Play it again Sam Side 2, Track 3 - The Jubilee Day (Chorus) We're off to the Jubilee Day, with Somerset pride we're on our way You can come along too but don't be late Cos we're off, we're off, we're off to the Jubilee Day We held a general meeting, in the back room of the pub The grocer's missis Mabel said she'd see to all the grub Old Ivor brought his thermos flask and Doris brought some spoons And Ernie said he'd bring his uke and give us all a tune (Repeat Chorus) We haven't got a coach so on a tractor we will ride We'll give them all a wash down and put banners on the side We've cleaned the combine harvester and painted it like new The seat is red, the blades are white and the mudguard’s royal blue (Repeat Chorus) As we drive past Windsor Castle, if the flag is flying free We'll stop the combine harvester and drop in for some tea She's sure to have some crumpets, and lots of strawberry jam Cockles winkles whelks and eels and caviar with ham (Repeat Chorus) We've heard she's coming down, to Somerset's fair land So we're doing up our local pub, it's really looking grand We'll give her scrumpy from the vat and Cheddar cheese galore And the royal doggy bowl we'll put for the corgies by the door (Repeat Chorus) We're off! We're off! We're off to the Jubilee Day Side 2, Track 4 - Hey, Come with Me Hey, come with me Take a trip, to the Westcountry Where the sun is always shining In blue skies, up above Where the skylark flies And the Summer breezes blow Across the moors, around the coast Along the shores, as fishermen Set out to sea, they keep on singing Hey, come along Meet the folks, for an old folk song Singing in harmony around the bar Strumming chords to an old guitar As the evening lamplight glows They pass cigars, the landlord fills The cider jars, while there's a log Still on the fire, we'll keep on singing Hey, don't wear a frown Get in your car, and leave the town Lying far behind you make for the West Cos that's the place that we love the best Where the folks are oh so friendly You'll never leave, you'll feel the magic These kind folks weave, and as you spend These pleasant days, you'll keep on singing Hey, come with me Take a trip, to the Westcountry Where the sun is always shining [Fade out] Side 2, Track 5 - Nellie The Bionic Cow (Chorus) Homogenised and pasteurised, in bottles and cans of any size She's sure to give you a good surprise, she's Nellie the bionic cow A man came from the Ministry, down to our Somerset farm He said back up in London, we hear with some alarm That you've got a super cow whose milk's already tinned According to the dairy rules we think you may have sinned The Ministry of Ag and Fish has sent me down to see If this milk is drinkable for civil servants tea So Missis put the kettle on and make me up a brew And then we'll see exactly what your super cow can do (Repeat Chorus) We served him up a pot of tea, and a jug of Nellie's best He sipped it very carefully and said she's passed the test So load her in a trailer and I'll be off double quick To take her to the scientists to see what makes her tick Though we're only simple folk, not very bright may say Nellie she's our pride and joy, we'll make it stay that way So if you fancy talking blokes from London show your hand I'll take me twelve bore off the wall and blast you off me land (Repeat Chorus) He didn't like me attitude, he said I should see reason And if I didn't give her up they'd have me up for treason The wife was weeping buckets, and I was feeling low So we went out in the farmyard to watch our Nellie go I'm not the sort of fella, who deals in strong arm stuff But unbeknown to all of us our Nell had had enough As he was hitching up the cart she caught him bending down And hit him square between the cheeks right back to London town (Repeat Chorus) Homogenised and pasteurised, in bottles and cans of any size She's sure to give you a good surprise, she's supersonic They say that she's chronic, she's Nellie the bionic cow Side 2, Track 6 - Haggis Farewell T'was on a murky rainy day in November sixty-seven When I came doon to Somerset to find my seventh heaven I'd never been down in the West, was much to my surprise At what I saw in Portishead that night before my eyes There was held a competition, the strangest ever seen Contestants drank a potion, a cloudy shade of green At last we had a winner, we all gave him a hand Not cos he had supped the most, but just cos he could stand [Spoken] Mind you, they had to hold'n up, drank nigh on thirty-four pints of Sam Spriggs scrumpy, ha ha (Chorus) I left my haggis, left my oats Came down to horses sheep and goats With a bottle of Scotch and two pound notes Now it's cider every morning I came to join a pop group, accordion in my hand I soon found out that the clothes they wore were smelling all the land Now in those days the groups wore suits and they were dressed to kill But my new mates wore corduroy clothes and wellies covered in swill We went on stage for 'bout an hour, for me it was a thrill We sang of Shepton Mallet and the ferry down in Pill And when at last we left the stage lit up by old gas lamps The crowd went all berserk for us lads dressed up like tramps [Spoken] Wha's mean? They clothes be near brand new, cost nearly a quid last year at the church fete (Repeat Chorus) I tried to speak the local tongue, at first it was a farce Cos everyone throughout this land knows a Scotsman rolls his 'r's T'is almost ten years from the day I think I got the gist Now when I meets a local lass I greet her with 'ow bist? I began to drink the scrumpy, and to eat the Cheddar cheese I've even been known to leave the pub upon my hands and knees Now I'm as much a local, as Roly Ron or Bert And now instead of saying great I've started saying gurt [Spoken] I don't know, I can't understand a word 'ee do say, sounds like one of they foreign blokes to I (Repeat Chorus) With a bottle of Scotch and two pound notes Now it's cider every morning Side 2, Track 7 - Farmer Bill's Cowman [Spoken] It's an hard life when youm working on the farm Down on the farm, I don't need no alarm I rise from me bed at five thirty Around six o'clock, I puts on me smock I'm feeling like Burlington Bertie Out in the pen, there's a broody old hen She gets as wild as a tiger You try and touch her egg, and she'll bite off your leg I feeds her on faggots and cider (Chorus) La la la la, ooh arr ooh arr ah They call me Farmer Bill's Cowman La la la la, ooh arr ooh arr ah I'm proud to be Farmer Bill's Cowman [Spoken] She were a proper little Rhode Island Red, she were I work very ‘ard, out in the yard Squelching around in the muck sir I drink every night, plays tricks with me sight I can't tell a drake from a duck sir I felt such a fool, tried milking the bull He must have enjoyed it somehow man Now every day at three, he comes and says “I'm free” That's why I'm farmer Bill's Cowman [Shout} Altogether (Repeat Chorus) [Spoken] I think 'ee got 'is eye on I Day after day, I labour away As work in the cowshed keeps piling With shovel and stick, I lays it on thick In spite of the sight I keep smiling It were love at first sight, I loved her all right But she were engaged to the ploughman Now I'm her debonair, Somerset millionaire I'm only Farmer Bill's Cowman. Ha ha ha ha ha (Repeat Chorus x 4) [Fade out]