The Wurzels

"Top Of The Crops" CD

Track 1      The Blackbird

(Chorus)
Where be that blackbird to, I knows where he be
He be up yon Wurzel tree and I be after 'ee
Now I sees 'ee, and 'ee sees I
Buggered if I don't get ‘im
With a gurt big stick I'll knock him down
Blackbird I'll 'ave 'ee
La la la la la la, la la la la la la
How's your Father, all right

All me life I'm on the farm, working for me keep
Tending pigs and chickens, and they cows and sheep
But everywhere I'm working, there's one who always mocks me
He's hiding somewhere up thit tree, blackbird I'll 'ave 'ee

(Repeat Chorus)

Now if I goes out poaching, a-creeping through the fields
With me old retriever, a-following at me heels
And if I aim me shotgun at a pheasant in the hay
It bloody blackbird starts his row and frightens him away

(Repeat Chorus)

Underneath the open sky in Spring we loves to dine
I likes to hear the flapping of the missis washing line
I listens to the tuneful song, a blackbird or a tit
But on me vest and underpants he's scored a direct hit

(Repeat Chorus)

No longer can I sleep at night, get peace of any kind
Thit bird'll be the death of I, he's preying on me mind
And if I aim me shotgun at a pheasant in the hay
Thit bloody blackbird starts his row and frightens him away

Where be that blackbird to, I knows where he be
He be up yon Wurzel tree and I be after 'ee
Now I sees 'ee and 'ee sees I
Buggered if I don't get ‘im
With a gurt big stick I'll knock him down
Blackbird I'll 'ave 'ee
With a gurt big stick I'll knock him down
Blackbird I'll 'ave 'ee
La la la la la la, la la la la la la
How's your Father, all right


Track 2    The Champion Dung Spreader

Now some folks like to boast, about their Father's occupation
Dustmen and the likes, in other situations
Not so, our old man, working was his pride
In his hobnail boots and gaiters, and a dung fork at his side

(Chorus)
Hi ho fiddle iddle-o, Chesterfield to Cheddar
Hi ho the folks all know he's the champion dung spreader

[Spoken] Get on there now

Now many years ago, when Dad was in his power
With a mighty two hand swipe he hit the old church tower
Lord help us cried the vicar, t'is judgement come
Not so said the verger, t'is a hundred weight of dung

(Repeat Chorus)

Now his aim was straight and true, and when his arms start flailing
We'd all duck out the way when they gurt brown lumps go sailing
Just leave our old man where the dung lies piled up thick
And he'll make it fly for miles with his gurt big blackthorn stick

(Repeat Chorus)

[Spoken] Come on there Doris, ha ha

Now as you all can see, Father was quite contented
He had the finest job since working was invented
And when our old man, laid him down to die
In a forty-acre field, with the dung piled six foot high

(Repeat Chorus)

Hi ho fiddle iddle-o, Chesterfield to Cheddar
Hi ho woh oh oh oh oh oh oh

[Spoken] Just hang on to something really solid girls, this is where the knicker elastic is going to go

He's the champion dung spreader



Track 3  The Marrow Song

There's a man lives down the street I'd like you all to know
He grew a great big marrow for the local flower show
When the story got around they came from far and wide
When they saw the size of it all the ladies cried

(Chorus)
Oh! What a beauty, I've never seen one as big as that before
Oh! What a beauty, It must be two foot long or even more
It's such a lovely colour, so nice and round and fat
I never thought a marrow could grow as big as that
Oh! what a beauty, I've never seen one as big as that before

He was leaning on his garden gate the other day
He beckoned to a lady who lived just across the way
He took her down the garden path and showed her it with pride
When she saw the size of it that little lady cried

(Repeat Chorus)

Then the flower show began and everybody went
To see his great big marrow lying there inside the tent
Then the judges came around to give the prizes out
They only took one look at it and they began to shout

(Repeat Chorus)

[Shout] Everybody

(Repeat Chorus)

I've never seen one as big as that before
I've never seen one as big as that before


Track 4  Farmer Bill's Cowman

[Spoken] It's a hard life when you work on the farm

Down on the farm, I don't need no alarm
I rise from me bed at five thirty
Around six o'clock, I puts on me smock
I feel just like Burlington Bertie
Out in the pen, there's a broody old hen
She is as wild as a tiger
You try to touch her egg, and she'll bite off your leg
I feeds her on faggots and cider

(Chorus)
La la la la, ooh arr ooh arr ah
They call me Farmer Bill's Cowman
La la la la, ooh arr ooh arr ah
I'm proud to be Farmer Bill's Cowman

[Spoken] She were a proper little Rhode Island red, she was

I works very hard, out in the yard
Just squelching around in the muck sir
I drink every night, plays tricks with me sight
I can't tell a drake from a duck sir
I felt such a fool, tried milking the bull
He must have enjoyed it somehow man
Now every day at three, he comes and says (I'm free)
That's why I'm Farmer Bill's Cowman

(Repeat Chorus)

[Spoken] I think he had his eye on I you know, ha ha

Day after day, I labours away
As work in the farmyard keeps piling
With shovel and stick, I lays it on thick
In spite of the sight I keep smiling
It was love at first sight, I loved her all right
But she was engaged to the ploughman
Now I'm her debonair Somerset millionaire
I'm only Farmer Bill's Cowman

(Repeat Chorus)

[Spoken] Come on

(Repeat Chorus)

[Spoken] And the girls

(Repeat Chorus)

Proud to be Farmer Bill's Cowman
Proud to be Farmer Bill's Cowman

[Spoken] There aint no better job than when youm working on the farm boy ha ha



Track 5  The Shepton Mallet Matador

Now Jacko was so happy, just working on the farm
With the cows and the chickens, he couldn't do no harm
For years and years he worked, and he scraped, and he saved (he scraped and saved)
[Spoken] That's lovely
To take one day the holiday he craved
But now he'll never be the same again (the same again)
[Spoken] That's even lovelier
Since he took that holiday in Spain

(Chorus)
Ho ho make way for that Timsbury torero
Ole for that Somerset senor
He's a real Westcountry caballero
The Shepton Mallet matador

Now the boys in the village all think it's very queer
The way that Jacko drinks wine instead of beer
And they say he's swapped his favourite cider jar
For a bottle of sherry and a thirty-bob guitar

(Repeat Chorus)

Now the pigs and chickens are digging up the dirt
When Jacko comes waving his old red flannel shirt
And he's always chasing round the old red cow
Cos, he thinks that he's a real bullfighter now

(Repeat Chorus)

Now on the farm if you hear hoots and howls
It's Jacko playing flamenco with the fowls
And every time he clicks those castanets
Instead of eggs, the hens lay omelettes

(Repeat Chorus)

[Instrumental]

(Repeat Chorus)

Now the farmer's missis went wild with delight
When Jacko serenaded her last night (la la la la la la la la la la la la)
And the farmer stopped him singing Cielito Lindo
With a bucket of summat he threw from a bedroom window

Ho ho make way for that Timsbury torero (Clap your hands)
Ole for that Somerset senor (Everybody clap your hands)
[Spoken] Let's salsa
He's a real Westcountry caballero (woh yeah)
The Shepton Mallet matador

Come on my babbies, ha ha

La la la la la la la, viva Chew Magna
All right
La la la la la la la, The Shepton Mallet matador

Ariba ariba ariba, oh yeah



Track 6 Chitterling

(Chorus)
Chitterling, chitterling, chitterling
Chitterling is all I crave
Fill I up with chitterling
And think of all the cash you'll save
You can do Irish stew or cordon bleu
Stuff it where you stuff your fancy suits
You can buy it soft or hard, by the pound or by the yard
Chitterling's the stuff to give the troops

Now back in Queen Victoria's time they held a grand affair
A real royal spree at the Russian Embassy
Old Albert and Victoria they went there for the ride
Thinking it a change from toast for tea
Her Majesty was not amused when right in front the Tsar
Old Albert coughed, and his false teeth shot out
And as they fell into a bucket full of caviar
The royal consort he began to shout

(Repeat Chorus)

Now when William Shakespeare wrote his famous Taming Of The Shrew
He couldn't sleep at night, stayed awake by candlelight
He broke his pen and burnt the midnight oil to no avail
Cos nowt could save him from his sorry plight
When suddenly a knock was heard, (knock knock) as he went to retire
It was his sweetheart Annie Hathaway
She said oh Will I've come to give you all that you desire
His eyes lit up and he began to say

(Repeat Chorus)

On the fifth day of November back in sixteen hundred and five
A stealthy figure went, to the Houses of Parliament
And beneath his cloak he carried a gurt barrel in his hand
It was Guy Fawkes that night on mischief bent
[Spoken] Oh, was he? I didn't know that
A soldier of the Royal Guard said hello, what's this yer
A-spying of the cask beneath his cloak
Pray tell I sire what's in that cask, I'm sure it can't be scrump
Old Guy took off his hat and softly spoke

(Repeat Chorus)

[Shout] Altogether

(Repeat Chorus)

Chitterling's the stuff to give the troops










































































Lyrics Kindly transcribed by M.Pelling & E.Bryant,
Verified by Professor Wurzel

Track  7      Don't Tell I Tell 'ee

Well I've never been to school, never been to college
Sooner be dead than stuff me head with a load of useless knowledge
I never couldn't see, no point in history
Cos, I wunt there, so I don't care
So, don't tell I tell 'ee

(Chorus)
Don't tell I tell 'ee, that's my philosophy
When folks do swear and tear their hair
Don't tell I tell 'ee

Young Sarah Jones one day, got in the family way
Her Father come with a gurt big gun, said “you'll have to pay”
And ‘er chased I up a tree, and I hollered “leave I be
Cos, I happen to know, it were your son Joe
So, don't blame I blame 'ee”

(Repeat Chorus)

While cycling out one night, a PC came in sight
He’ll make it hot, cos I aint got, no brakes no bell no light
“I'll sling the book at thee”, that copper said with glee
I said “sling all you like, t'is your Dad's bike
So, don't blame I, blame 'ee”

(Repeat Chorus)

Now we got a lift to town, with good old Farmer Brown
On a ten-ton truck, wi' a loada muck, that's when he set us down
A drink we did agree, would be good for we
The barmaid rose, she held her nose
I said “don't smell I smell 'ee”

(Repeat Chorus)

[Spoken] Then the vicar comed along then, oh

Old vicar came along, he said “you know t'is wrong”
“You gets tight on a Friday night”, I answered 'ee real strong
“Now vicar you'll agree, the Lord created me
And I'm afraid that's how I'm made
So, don't tell I tell 'ee”

(Repeat Chorus)

[Shout] Off we go

(Repeat Chorus)

Don't tell I tell 'ee, that's my philosophy
And I'm afraid that's how I'm made
So, don't tell I tell 'ee, yeah


Track 8       Give Me England

Last year we took a chance, and went to Paree France
But all those can-canning girls led us quite a dance
They Folies Bergeres, aint all they seem to be
Cos when a girl says no no, she means ooh arr oui oui

(Chorus)
So, give me England every time my dear
Give me England any time of year
Come on everybody raise a cheer, far and near
For the birds and the booze now that summer's here

And when the zouk is played, a Grecian serenade
We shed a tear in our beer for the price we paid
This aint no place to be, complained old Timmy Lee
Aint got no bingo, the lingo's all Greek to me

(Repeat Chorus)

I'll never go again, across to sunny Spain
To serenade a senorita 'neath her windowpane
What a palaver, on the Costa Brava
I didn't know the matador was her Father

(Repeat Chorus)

In nineteen-seventy we went to Italy
To sample all the delights down in Napoli
The senorinas there, would not be keener there
Cos I've a scar from her Dad to prove that I was there

So, give me England every time my dear
Give me England any time of year
Come on everybody raise a cheer, far and near
For the birds and the booze now that summer's
Birds and the booze now that summer's
Birds and the booze now that summer's here



Track 9    I'll Never Get a Scrumpy Here

Now old jolly Jack was a hard-working chap
And he longed for the chance to be free
He stuck a pin in the map as it laid on his lap
And he stuck it in gay Paree
It were quite by chance that he'd heard of France
Cos he'd never been away before
He was straight off the boat with his ten-bob note
When his heart fell through the floor

(Chorus)
Oh, I'll never get a scrumpy here
No, I'll never get a nice mild beer
Give me England every time my dear
Cos you never get surprises living in Devizes
However hard I bloomin’ try
Seems I'll never get a hot meat pie
In old Somerset's where I'll lie

When I die, hi, hi, hi, hi

So, he made his way in complete dismay
Where the folks all goes at night
And standing there was a girl so fair
Her eyes was shining bright
Put his hand in his pocket and it felt like a rocket
Glowing in his hand like a flame
So, he winked his eye, and she give a cry
Et vous chicken? No, I'm game

(Repeat Chorus)

When I die, hi hi

(Repeat Chorus)

Die hi, hi, hi, hi

Die hi, hi, hi, hi

When I die


Track 10      I Am A Cider Drinker

[Spoken] Come on you cider drinking people you

When the moon shines on the cowshed
And we're rolling in the hay
All the cows are up there grazing
And the milk is on its way

(Chorus)
I am a cider drinker
I drinks it all of the day
I am a cider drinker
It soothes all me troubles away
Ooh arr ooh arr ay, ooh arr ooh arr ay

It's so cosy, in the kitchen
With the smell of rabbit stew
When the breeze blows, 'cross the farmyard
You can smell the cowshed too

[Spoken] Aw I never smelt nothing like you lot in all me life

When those combine wheels stops turning
And the hard day's work is done
There's a pub around the corner
It's the place we'll have our fun

[Spoken] We'll have some fun an' all now

(Repeat Chorus)

[Spoken] Come on Mabel

Dear old Mabel, when she's able
We takes a stroll down Lover's Lane
And we sinks a pint of scrumpy
And we plays old nature's game

[Spoken] Cor arr

But we ends up in the duckpond
When the pub decides to close
With me britches full of tadpoles
And the newts between me toes

(Repeat Chorus)

[Spoken] Everybody get 'un up there now

(Repeat Chorus)

Ooh arr ooh arr ay, ooh arr ooh arr ay
Ooh arr ooh arr ay, ooh arr ooh arr ay
Ooh arr ooh arr ay, ooh arr ooh arr ay
Ooh arr ooh arr ay, ooh arr ooh arr ay

[Spoken] Well sincerely folks, I'd like to thank you all for being such a wonderful crowd here tonight
I wish you all the very best of happiness and luck and until we meet again in the country lanes of the wonderful Westcountry, goodnight to you all and God bless you all, and thank you



Track 11   Don't Look Back In Anger

Slip inside the eye of your mind
I you know you might find
A better place to play
You said that you've never been
But all the things that you've seen
Slowly fade away
So I'll start a revolution from my bed (oooh)
Cos you said the brains I had went to my head
Step outside, Summertime's in bloom
Stand up beside the fireplace
Take that look from off your face
You aint ever gonna burn my heart out

(Chorus)
So Sally can wait, she knows it's too late
As we're walking on by
Her soul slides away, but don't look back in anger
I heard you say

Take I to the place where you go
Where nobody knows
If it's not our day
Please don't put your life in the hands
Of a rock and roll band
Throw it all away
Gonna start a revolution from my bed (oooh)
Cos you said the brains I had went to my head (oh ho ho)
Step outside Summertime's in bloom (that's nice)
Stand up beside the fireplace
Take that look from off your face
You ain’t ever gonna burn my heart out

(Repeat chorus)

Ooh arr ooh, ooh arr ooh
Ooh arr ooh, ooh arr,
Ooh arr, ooh arr

(Repeat chorus)

Let me hear you now

(Repeat chorus)

Everybody

So Sally can wait, she knows it's too late
As we're walking on by
Her soul slides away, but don't look back in anger
Don't look back in anger, I heard you say

At least not today my babby
Ha ha ha ha




Track 12      Combine Harvester

Who loves ya baby? Ha

C'mon now let's get together in
C'mon now let's get together in
C'mon now let's get together in perfect harmony

(Chorus)
I got a brand new combine harvester and I'll give you the key
Come on now let's get together in perfect harmony
I got twenty acres, and you got forty three
Now I got a brand new combine harvester and I'll give you the key

I drove my tractor through your haystack last night (oh ar oh ar)
I threw my pitchfork at your dog to keep quiet (oh ar oh ar)
Now something's telling me, that youm avoiding me (oh ar oh ar)
Come on now darling you got, something I need, cos

(Repeat chorus)

C'mon now let's get together in
C'mon now let's get together in
C'mon now let's get together in perfect harmony

I'll stick by you I'll give you all that you need (oh ar oh ar)
We'll have twins and triplets, I'm a man built for speed (oh ar oh ar)
And you know I love you darling, so give me your hand (oh ar oh ar)
But the thing I wants the most is all they, acres of land
For seven long years I've been alone in this place (oh ar oh ar)
Pigs sleep in the kitchen, it's a proper disgrace (oh ar oh ar)
Now if I cleaned it up. would you change your mind (oh ar oh ar)
I'll give up drinking scrumpy and that lager and lime, cos

(Repeat chorus)
(Repeat jump! jump! go! go! over and over in background)

C'mon now let's get together in
C'mon now let's get together in
C'mon now let's get together in
C'mon now let's get together in
C'mon now let's get together in
C'mon now let's get together in
Come on now let's get together in perfect harmony

Wan’t we a grand couple at that last Wurzel dance (oh ar oh ar)
I wore brand new gaitors and me corduroy pants (oh ar oh ar)
In your new Sunday dress with your perfume smelling grand (oh ar oh ar)
We had our photos took of us holding hands

Cos I got a brand new combine harvester and I'll give you the key
Now that weem both past our fifties I think that you and me
Should stop this gallivanting, and will you marry me
Cos I got a brand new combine harvester and I'll give you the key

(Repeat go! go! and over in background)
C'mon now let's get together in
C'mon now let's get together in
C'mon now let's get together in
C'mon now let's get together in
C'mon now let's get together in
C'mon now let's get together in
C'mon now let's get together in perfect harmony

Arr you're a fine looking woman and I can't wait to get me hands on your land







Track 13     Drink Up Thy Cider

Drink up your cider George, pass us round the mug
Drink up your cider George, your garden's ver nigh dug
Your cheeks been getting redder, from Charterhouse to Cheddar
And there's still more cider in the jug

(Chorus)
Drink up thee cider, drink up thee cider
For tonight we'll merry be (merry be)
We'll knock the milk churns over
And roll them in the clover
The corn's half cut and so be we

Drink up your cider George, and get up off the mat
Drink up your cider George, put on thy Sunday hat
Cos we're off to Barrow Gurney, for to see my brother Ernie
And there's still more cider in the vat

(Repeat chorus)

Drink up thy cider George, it's time you had a rest
Drink up your cider George, the finest ever pressed
There ain’t nothing like good cider, for to make your smile grow wider
And there's still more cider way down West

(Repeat chorus)

C'mon now!

Drink up thee…
Cider
Drink up thee…
Cider
For tonight we'll merry be (merry be)
We'll knock the milk churns over
And roll them in the clover
The corn's half cut and so be we

(Repeat chorus)

Ladies and Gentlemen put your hands above your head and sway from side to side
I want you all to sing together those magic words, and so be we

And so be we